Five years ago, I went all in with Jesus.
This was after I had been a worship leader for ten years and a pastor for two. I was even a Bible school graduate.
It looked like I was all in, and I was more than most, but I was still concerned with pleasing people and fitting in.
The challenge of leading a church through COVID is what woke me up. I came face-to-face with a conflict in my soul that I was unaware of until then.
Would I really stick with the Word of God when persecution was guaranteed? Would I preach and demonstrate God's healing power in the face of a pandemic? Would I boldly preach freedom from sin when perversion was front and center?
By the grace of God, I made the right choice. And the repercussions were intense.
Half of my church family walked out the door and never came back. Many of them slandered my name and the church, to which the Lord commanded me not to defend myself.
A mysterious sickness struck my body to the point that I didn't know how much longer I would live. But the Word of God lifted me out as I grabbed hold of the authority Christ has given us over all the power of the enemy.
The intense pressure lasted several years. I was being cleansed of everything that didn't belong, and Jesus sustained me the whole way through.
Now, everything is so easy. The burden is so light. The persecution no longer hurts, but causes compassion to well up in me for the salvation of their soul.
I have no reputation to maintain. The pressure to perform is gone. I have emptied myself before the Lord, and He has filled me with His Holy Spirit.
I don't know how to explain to you the ease I feel. The peace. The joy. It makes no sense, but it is stable and consistent through whatever comes.
What I have now was worth the suffering. I would do it all over again because nothing compares to being all in with Jesus.
